NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS,
HERE'S THE INDYBOYS
The tracks from this shattering, revolutionary, landmark album -- featuring the musical talents of Horatio Horrid and Archie Atrocious, with some samples:
1. How All the Noses Run
(Horatio's big penultimate scene in "The Wrong War")
"I don't wanna holiday in the sun!
I wanna see all the noses run!
I wanna see some mucous drippy
Horatio's nose dripping is quite a sight to see!
Now I got a reason, now I got a reason
Now I got a reason, and I'm still gapin'
Now I got a reason to keep watchin' --
The great Snot Scene ..."
2. Toddies
(as in "hot"!)
3. No Feelings
(an anthem for Nasty Jack Simpson; no modification necessary)
"...I got no emotions for anybody else
You better understand I'm in love with myself
Myself, my beautiful self
No feelings, no feelings, no feelings for anybody else
Except for myself
My beautiful self, man!"
4. Liar
(Horatio's short-lived indignation when The Duchess is unmasked in "The Duchess and
the Devil")
5. Problems
(Horatio's mantra "We go when I say we go," while the situation steadily deteriorates
around him in "The Duchess and The Devil")
6. God Save the King
(Pellew's rousing speech in "The Duel")
"God save the King
Captain P's quite the thing
When he wrenches off his hat
Our hearts go rat-a-tat
God save the King
Captain P says with such a ring
There is a future in Pellew's screaming!"
7. Seventeen (and Seasick)
(Horatio's first experiences in the Royal Navy)
8. An-Arch-y on the TV
(the insatiable need for more Archie)
"I am no text purist
I am an Archie-ist
I know what I want, and I'm so glad I'll get it
I wanna say thanks to A&E
'Cause I wanna see more Archie!"
9. Sub-Mission
(an adequate summation of the Muzillac affair in "The Wrong War")
10. Pretty Vacant
(Archie's tendency to become lost in thought when under pressure)
"There's no point in asking
You'll get a stammered reply
I'm too busy worrying, besides
I've got good reasons, really too much
It's all I can do not to lose my lunch
Oh I'm so pretty, oh so pretty
Vacant! - and I DO care!"
11. New Yuck
(further reflections from Horatio on the Frogette fiasco ...)
12. A 'N' E
(the network that brought us the wonderful Hornblower series ... even if they DID cut
some rather crucial scenes to make room for commercials ...)
"An all too limited supply
And we know the reason why
They trimmed it frame by frame
The 'after-these-messages' game --
Who???
A 'N' E!
A 'N' E!
A' N' E!"