The Doctor is IN

A laundry list, apparently. A stronger case can be made for some conditions than for others. Listed below, in no particular (dis)order, are some of the diagnoses viewers have proposed for Archie at one time or another. Follow the links for handy quick-reference evaluation charts.

All of this must present quite a challenge for Horatio Hornblower, R.N. (Registered Nurse, that is), but he rises to the occasion admirably in The Duchess and The Devil. And by the end of The Wrong War, Archie does seem to be finding his feet again. And by the time of Mutiny and Retribution, he appears to have become as healthy, strong, and confident as -- well, as Horatio. Quite a remarkable feat, under the circumstances: even adjusting for inflation, it is highly doubtful that an 18th century naval officer's entire annual salary would pay for so much as a millisecond of psychotherapy ...

Archie's fits are somewhat mysterious. Has he had them all his life? If so, why is he in the Navy? It would seem to be the worst possible situation for him -- and in fact, during the cutting-out of the Papillon, he suffers a fit at the worst possible moment, with disastrous consequences. Or is it a problem that developed subsequent to his joining the Navy? The fits certainly do seem to be triggered by either the presence of, or memories of, Jack Simpson.

If one accepts that Archie's fits are epilepsy, there still isn't really much of an answer. Heredity and fetal injuries are among the possible causes of epileptic seizures, which would suggest he's had them all his life. Then again, other possible causes like poisoning, brain tumors and infections can occur at any age. Interestingly, a severe blow to the head can do the job just as well -- and Simpson would presumably have been only too happy to oblige.

Whatever the cause, thankfully Archie appears to have completely outgrown the fits by the time of Mutiny. But out of morbid curiosity, just how strong a case can be made for epilepsy? The two main classifications of epileptic seizures are generalized (grand mal) and partial (temporal lobe):

Bladder control, possible loss of			?
Body stiffening, sudden	X
Breathing, ceases for 20-30 seconds		X
Breathing, spontaneous resumption of normal after seizure	X
Consciousness, loss of		X
Disorientation	X
Falling	X
Jerking of arms and legs for one to two minutes	X
Scream-like sound	X
Sleep, immediately falls into after seizure	X

Chewing motions	X
Confusion	X
Disorientation	X
Fear			?
Sucking motions	X
Swallowing motions	X
Tugging at clothing, repeated		X
Wandering off		X

NOTE 9/23/2001: I am pleased to say that a bona fide medical student (as opposed to a superficial charlatan like yours truly) has evaluated the case for Archie's epilepsy. Click here to read Suze E. of Western Australia's assessment of our favorite patient.

NOTE 5/17/2003: And I am equally honored to post another erudite contribution on the subject of Archie's fits. Click here for Keyanna's fascinating alternative diagnosis.

Chest pains			?
Chills		X
Choking	X
Dizziness	X
Faintness	X
Detachment from self	X
Fear for sanity			?
Fear of death		X
Hot flashes			?
Nausea		X
Shaking / trembling	X
Sweating	X

A particularly vivid image of Archie's inner torment comes near the end of The Duchess and The Devil, when he's in the boat heading back to the Spanish prison to honor Horatio's parole. As the Indy fires a salute, he flinches noticeably with each shot. Even when the guns have ceased, the look on his face is like "I know I have to do this, but ... what the hell am I doing?" It's an expression that, to some viewers, has PTSD stamped all over it.

Concentrating, difficulty in	X
Denial of feelings	X
Detachment from others	X
Flashbacks	X
Inability to recall trauma	X
Irritability	X
Lack of interest in usual activities	X
Life-threatening trauma, actual experience of	X
Nightmares	X
Silence	X
Sleeping, difficulty in falling and/or staying	X

One would think that a single viewing of The Duchess and The Devil should satisfy any doubts on this point. And yet, it is difficult to forget the cheerful chatterbox who welcomed Horatio aboard the Justinian in The Duel, or the assertive officer of Mutiny and Retribution. (Of course, Simpson was nowhere around in either of those situations ...)

Death, thoughts of	X
Guilt, feelings of			?
Helplessness, feelings of	X
Hypersomnia		X
Indecisiveness	X
Insomnia			?
Irritability	X
Motor activity, decreased	X
Motor activity, increased		X
Pleasure, unable to experience		X
Suicide, thoughts of	X
Weight loss	X (well - in theory, OK?)
Weight gain		X
Worthlessness, feelings of	X

For a full discussion of why this would even be considered, see the Nasty Jack page (unless you are the squeamish type).

Aggression		X
Anxiety	X
Depression	X
Flashbacks	X
Guilt			?
Helplessness, feelings of	X
Indecisiveness	X
Insomnia			?
Mood swings	X
Motor activity, increased		X
Nightmares	X
Relationships, change in	X
Self-esteem, loss of	X
Sexual dysfunction			?
Substance abuse		X
Suicide attempts	X

All right, all right. So method acting wasn't taken quite as far as some individuals seem to feel it should have been for the sake of ten minutes' worth of film in The Duchess and The Devil. But Archie nevertheless chose to commit suicide, and while there is some doubt as to whether Hunter was maliciously eating his food or just letting him slip away, we do in fact see Archie outrightly refusing water. The self-destructive intent is difficult to dispute.

Is it indicative that Archie chose starvation as a suicide method? Anorexics often feel they have no control over their lives: the intake of food, at least, is something they can regulate. For Archie to have ended up in prison and suffered a month's punishment in a hole -- all because he had a fit at the wrong time and place -- is ample reason for him to feel he has no control. And the presence of always-in-command Horatio probably doesn't help; indeed Archie is quite vocal in his resentment of the whole situation.

Constipation, chronic			?
Control, feeling loss of	X
Dehydrated	X
Denial of problems		X
Diarrhea, chronic			?
Emaciated		X
Energy, lack of	X
Family, dysfunctional			?
Fat, sees self as			?
Food, obsessive thoughts of		X
Helplessness, feelings of	X
Introverted	X
Mood disturbances	X
Perfectionist behavior		X
Resistance to treatment	X
Sleep disturbances	X
Worthlessness, feelings of	X

For much of The Duel, Archie seems reasonably confident and cheerful. Then Simpson comes back, and it's all downhill from there. In The Duchess and The Devil he reaches absolute rock bottom in his opinion of himself, but by the end it appears he's starting to find his way back. In The Wrong War some of his old humor resurfaces early on -- yet even by this time he can't stop questioning his worth and abilities. It is therefore immensely gratifying to see him later navigating his way through the chaos of Mutiny and Retribution with such determination and confidence. Way to go, Archie; we always knew you had it in ya!

Failures, past	X
Guilt, feelings of		?
Inability to recognize own achievements	X
Rejection of positive feedback	X
Self-negating verbalizations	X
Shame, feelings of		?
Unrealistic expectations of self		?
Worthlessness, repeated expressions of	X